The Curmudgeon's Guide to College Admissions

The Curmudgeon's Guide to College Admissions

Parenting Is Hard and Confusing

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Irena Smith's avatar
Irena Smith
Apr 02, 2026
∙ Paid

Some of you may remember an email I received a few months ago from the parent of a 9th grader. The email started thusly: “My daughter is in ninth grade. I would like her to go to an Ivy League school.” It was a lot to digest. The good news is that I have a new website that makes it clear that I write full time and no longer do college admissions work—the idea being that I will no longer have to digest emails about college in general and highly selective colleges in particular. But apparently, the wording on my new website (which essentially reads “I NO LONGER DO COLLEGE ADMISSIONS COUNSELING PLEASE DO NOT ASK ME”) is not clear enough, because earlier this week, I received another email and it’s a doozy, y’all.

glass window with Closed down print
How much clearer am I supposed to be? Photo by Marco Bianchetti on Unsplash

The writer of the email was urgently seeking my help because his child was admitted to a highly selective major at a highly selective public school (let’s call it Michiberklerolina), but the child did not…

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